Disarming Defensive Behavior
©Laurie Weiss, Ph.D.
Some people need to be right, whether they are or not.
No matter what you say to them about a problem, they can explain…
Ř Why they couldn't help making a mistake...
Ř Why they are not to blame because they meant well...
Ř Why it's your fault that they made the mistake....
They're so defensive, it's a real challenge to get them to address any problem.
"What happened first?"
"Then what happened?"
"How did you recognize that there was a problem?"
David wants to make it safe for the people he works with to tell the truth. He never blames anyone else for a problem or a miscommunication. If there is any blame, he assumes it himself by the way he asks his questions.
"I'm really confused here."
David reports that whenever he offers to assume blame for a problem, others are quick to argue that they are responsible for the problem themselves.
Use some of David's techniques next time you must solve a problem with someone who always insists on being right.
About the AuthorLearn more in "The Integrity Course," an online, multimedia course to help you say what you think without getting fired or losing your friends. http://www.TheIntegrityCourse.com Laurie Weiss, Ph.D. is an internationally-known executive coach and author. mail:firstname.lastname@example.org